You don't know that you are mine yet
by Nadeshiko Fullbuster
Summary: When Miyuki is hurting and shutting himself off, the only one who can truly break through his shell is Chris. Enjoy this ChrisMiyu.


It was past midnight, and in the covered ground of the baseball team, the lights were still on.

Having spent all of his free time after dinner practicing with Furuya and Sawamura, Miyuki didn't had the time to do his own training. So he was there, alone, swinging his bat for the 210th time, and he kept on swinging, enjoying the feeling his overworked and sore muscles were sending to him, the pain in his hands and his body were keeping him distracted from his annoying thoughts and the sound of his groans of effort and swings were reverbating throughout the ground.

Honestly, he wasn't going to refuse to be the captain, but it wasn't like he fully understood how the hell he was the most suited for the post. He didn't had the time to be a sarcastic asshole anymore. Did the coach really did good by choosing him as the captain?

220.

He didn't feel the same pleasure, didn't had the same joy as before.

230.

He was acting like a robot, repeating the same moves, the same fake smiles. A shadow of himself.

240.

His calls and his gameplay were as good as before, but his soul became duller and duller after each game.

250.

The grip on his bat tightened harder at each one of his swings. Ungloved hands. Damaged skin. Heavy shoulders. He didn't feel the skin of his hands cracked and bleed, leaving the red, cold liquid sliding on his wrists, indifferent to the pain.

260.

He needed a distraction right now or else he was going to break down. So he increased his speed, digging his palms further into the hilt of his bat, soaking it with his blood.

270.

The image of the dejected, crying third-years was sticking to his mind like dried blood, and wouldn't go away no matter how he was overworking himself.

280.

Droplets of tears and blood were falling in silence. His skin was burning him but he liked it, his breath was shallow but he didn't care. He deserved the pain. He _needed_ the pain.

290.

His heart was beating like crazy, and he began to feel dizzy.

300.

"Miyuki. Drop the bat."

Miyuki broke out of his trance, brutally brought back to reality by two strong arms, stronger than his, stopping his movements by encircling his shoulders and stopping his bat with one hand, easily grabbing his own two ones, thinner than usual. His back was against Chris' chest, making it impossible to move or to flee. He barely got his breath in check before he spoke:

"Chris-senpai..? Wha...what are you doing here, it's s-super late." Miyuki stuttered, automatically dropping his bat to wipe the rest of his tears. He then realized that his hands weren't just hurting, but were bleeding, a lot, staining the ground at his feet.

"I could ask you the same question Miyuki. But I know the answer, so it will be useless."

The arm encircling Miyuki's shoulders went slowly down, to wrap itself around the other's middle. Chris frowned when his arms was able to recover completely all of his waist. His other hand was still holding Miyuki's two ones, feeling the blood between their connected fingers.

His kouhai tended to go beyond his limits when he was feeling distressed, but this time he went overboard. Not being able of feeling himself bleeding was saying a lot about his actual mental state, and it was truly frightening. Miyuki was trying to get his breath under control, and wasn't saying a thing. Being back to chest with him, Chris couldn't see his face, but his body language said everything.

He should have come sooner. Much, much sooner.

"Kazuya. Please talk to me."

Miyuki, hearing his first name let out a strangled noise from the back of his throat. How long has it been since someone called him like that?

"Why... why is it never enough? Everyone's calling me a genius, but it's not true. I worked so hard to improve myself, since I was a kid, I... never stop thinking about baseball, it's one of the most precious thing to me. So why..."

He turned his face, planted his sorrowful and teary eyes into his senpai's, lips bitten and bloody.

"Why it has to be so painful?"

Tears were streaming freely down his cheeks, silently, and it broke Chris' heart. He gently stroked Miyuki's hair while holding him reassuringly against his chest, his heart hurting for him, for his beloved kouhai who didn't do anything wrong.

Chris couldn't help but feeling atrociously guilty, because he knew the source of Miyuki's pain was him. His injury. Because of this, Miyuki had to shoulder a burden than any other first-year would be able to bear. Seeing the funniest thing to you becoming a source of pain and anxiety was the worst torture. He knew it too well himself.

Miyuki was silently, but violently crying his heart out, sobs racking his body, staining Chris's shirt with his bloodied hands. The more he cried, and the more he lose energy, and his knees finally gave in, loosing the strength to stand on their own. Startled a bit, Chris steadied him, easily supporting his light weight. ( he must have lost 5 or 6 kilos in such a short time). He could feel him shuddering under him, and his body was way too hot, also bearing in mind that he lost quite some blood and the wounds on his hands needed to be treated. When he was about to move, he heard Miyuki whispering something to him.

"I'm sorry."

It made Chris froze, dazed by Miyuki's apology.

"Why would you be? You didn't anything wrong, much to the contrary you gave your everything to the team."

"My everything wasn't enough! I'm sure that if you were in my place, you would have done a better job and we wouldn't have l-lose the final! I'm so sorry I ended the third-years' summer. It was my fault, if only I had taken a time at that mome..!"

He couldn't finish his sentence, being shut down by a kiss.

Chris couldn't bear anymore the sight of Miyuki blaming himself, seeing the boy he love so deeply in that state just stirred back up his instinct of protectiveness. He tasted the blood of his lips and the salt of his tears, kissing them goodbye, his right hand stabilizing him and the other found his way on his cheek.

The flow of thoughts in Miyuki's head just stopped, processing what was happening. The painful fog that was clouding his mind disappeared, and he calmed down a bit. His arms slowly found around Chris' neck, and he kissed back. Chris smiled a little, seeing that it did soothe him, his heartbeat decreasing a little.

Miyuki broke the kiss because he needed some air and that his head was spinning, his fever kicking back in. He buried his head in the other's chest, hiding his reddened face (both from the fever and the kiss), too embarrassed to look at him. He had cried and shown his weaknesses in front of the person he respected and loved the most. He was feeling like shit, and now that he had calmed down, his hands were hurting like hell.

"Kazuya. Look at me."

How could he do that? He shook his head no, knitting his hands into fists.

" I can't talk to you if you're not looking at me. C'mon, let me see your face."

His shoulders were trembling, and after a whole minute he lifted his head, just enough for Chris to grab his chin and delicately lift his head higher, so that their eyes could make contact.

Chris gazed into his kouhai's eyes to see that his eyelids were half-closed and the light in his eyes was fading away. The adrenaline in his body was completely gone so he was about to loose consciousness. Pushing a wave of worry aside, he hurried and just contented himself with a few words.

"Relax and let yourself go. Talk to you later." he added, smiling reassuringly to him.

"Eh? Wh-why..?"

Miyuki soon had his answer when his vision went all blurry, his arms went limp and all he could understand before the black out is that he was gently being cradled in Chris' arms.

…...

When he woke up, he was in his dorm room, laying in bed, with a damp cloth on his forehead, and his hands cleanly bandaged. For a second, his mind was all foggy again, but the memory of a certain pair of lips resting against his, completely cleared his mind, and his upper body automatically jerked forward. A strong hand planted itself on his chest, before he could get in a seated position (and certainly taste a bad headache) and gently pushed him back. Miyuki turned his head towards Chris, deducing that he brought him back in his room and treated his cuts.

"You shouldn't get up right now, just wait a little bit more."

"Sorry that you saw me in that state, senpai. Thank you."

"Don't mention it... Actually, I should be the one to apologize to you."

Miyuki's neck emitted a cracking sound when he turned his head to look at the other male, a bewildered look on his face and Chris shot him back a rueful smile, that said everything.

"No. You don't have anything to apologize for, senpai." He was starting to see where his senpai was getting at.

"You think I don't, but I do, believe me. I didn't do a single senpai-like thing to help you back then, when you got burdened with new responsibilities that should have been mine to bear. You were the starting catcher since your first year in middle school too, but I doubt it was of a great help to help you face the trials of a first-string player in high school, especially in Seidou. Sports are cruel. Your own teammates can sometimes be your rivals. You didn't had a proper start in your high school life, and I know for sure that most of the second-years were angry at you, for taking my place."

Miyuki laughed bitterly, inside his heart, remembering the multiple times when Tanba sent him death glares.

"I should have guided instead of wallowing in self-pity. If you hadn't been there, the team would have been so much different. You repaired the damage I caused to the team, accepting the hatred and the rejection, and because of that, you suffered a great deal. You forced yourself to wear a mask every day, overworked, hurt yourself, and you're still doing it, and I'm so sorry for that..."

While talking, Chris recovered Kazuya's hand with his own, his palm soft on the other's injured hand, shielding it, and Miyuki leaned in the touch, desperate for it, and flabbergasted by Chris's apology.

"... but if you're willing to let me in, I will definitely make you smile again. Like you did during our match in middle school."

Kazuya's heart did a back flip.

"You didn't forget it..." he said, joy coursed in him for a split-second, making it hard to stay still in bed.

"How could I forget the best match of my middle school days?"

Miyuki didn't understand why Chris was blaming himself for all of this, the only one at fault was him and nobody else. His eyes were glued on the ceiling, processing everything...

His feelings for Chris were killing him since his first year and he always thought that he couldn't be a part of the life of someone who was shining as much as him. His repressed feelings were flooding back, and it hurt, more than everything.

Was it alright for someone like him to accept the feelings of someone like Chris? He deserved so much better than a half-broken boy, who couldn't even deal properly with his emotions. Someone that will make him truly happy.

Miyuki gulped hard, swallowing everything back forcefully. It tore him apart but he had to do it.

"Are you really sure, Chris-senpai? That you want to stay with me? Honestly, I don't think you will do yourself a favor: you retired with all the third-years from the club, and you will soon leave high school, so we won't be able to see each other anymore. I assure, it will do no good to you, so you should focus on yourself and your future college, please."

His mind was screaming to him to shut the fuck up, that he didn't want Chris to go, that he wanted him to always be by his side. However when Miyuki found himself quite convincing for Chris to let go, he felt the palm recovering his hand grab his wrist and yanked him forward. He let out a yelp and crashed into Chris' broad chest. Before he could do anything, Chris trapped him in his arms, locking him firmly in place, tight grip around his waist. He could feel Kazuya's heart beating like crazy.

"I'm sorry but you weren't convincing even a bit. You lose your bite, Kazuya." he said, chuckling a little.

His head resting on Chris' shoulder, Miyuki's eyes widen at the sound of the giggle escaping gently the other's lungs.

That man... he didn't even buy it for a second, didn't he? A wave of guilt suddenly hit him, and he was speechless, the words he was burning to say were stuck in his throat.

Strangely enough, Chris was both sad and relieved because Miyuki just confirmed his feelings for him in the clumsy way he tried to reject him, but on the other hand he didn't think he deserved to be happy.

"Kazuya. Listen hard and good. Don't ever think for a second that you not deserve to love, or that you don't deserve me. It's the opposite, you deserve all of it and so much more. I want you to see yourself as what you are, a beautiful and clever boy, witty and caring, and who always sacrifice himself for the sake of his team.

His grip tighten even harder, and Kazuya let out a little gasp, his own emotions almost chocking him.

"And remember this: now that I know for sure your feelings..."

Chris made eye contact, golden eyes burning with fire.

"...I won't let you go anywhere."

The goggle catcher felt as he was struck by lightning, an electric shock wave coursed through his veins and the blood rushed to his cheeks and face.

He was there, literally sitting on Chris' lap, his two hands on his broad shoulders, Chris confessing to him his love and holding him like his life was on the line, their foreheads resting against each other and their eyes locked. Chris' ones were filled with endless love, burning determination and sweet protectiveness. The more Kazuya was looking into his eyes, the more his love was soaking into him, and he suddenly realized that it was okay. _He_ was okay. That even him could act like a human being, and love a person and be loved in return. That _everyone_ had a chance.

A smile grew on his now wet face, and he asked himself this:

Is that what it feels like to be _claimed?_

If that was the case, he liked it very much.

He quickly wiped his eyes with his sleeve, and finally spoke up:

"It is okay then? 'Cause you're going to be stuck with me for a very long time, senpai. And I can be very clingy!"

It was Chris' turn to feel his eyes go watery when Kazuya gave him a bright, dazzling smile, finally making his handsome face shining. He smiled back, his chest warming up at the magnificent sight that was given to him and lovingly slipped one hand around Kazuya's neck, approaching his lips lips closer to Kazuya's.

"I couldn't ask for better."

And he closed the gap between them, offering him a kiss that made Kazuya forgot about all of his insecurities.

OMAKE (bonus):

The following morning, Chris went to Kazuya's room as early as possible to see if he was feeling alright, if his fever was gone or not.

As if they were reading each other's mind, as soon as Chris was going to knock on the door, it opened to reveal a freshly clothed Kazuya and the latter's eyes lit up when he saw his saw his lover:

"Good morning Chris." he smiled to him.

The fact that Kazuya dropped the -senpai, was making him so happy.

"You're feeling better Kaz?"

"Yeah, a good night's rest really did me good!"

Chris smiled at that, and beckoned him with a gesture of his hand.

"Come over here. I have something to tell you."

Kazuya slightly tilted his head on the side, wondering what it could be and when he entered Chris' reach, a long, muscular arm snatched him by the waist, and Chris brushed his lips against the other catcher's ear, talking in a low whisper:

"You can't imagine how much I'm glad that you chose Seidou over Inashiro. Because I wouldn't have stand the idea of Narumiya stealing _what is mine_ away from me."

Kazuya furiously blushed, feeling tinglings all over his body and Chris hungrily kissed him.

That kiss was totally different from the two they shared last night; they were sweet and gentle but this one was rough, bruising his lips, toxic and overly possessive, as if Chris was making him understand that he was his and nobody else, officially claiming him as his own.

It was almost one-sided, Chris didn't let him the time to react, pining him against the wall, one large hand settled under Kazuya's shirt, covering his hipbone and the other in his hair, feeling the silky touch of his boyfriend's locks on his fingers.

Kazuya was slightly struggling for air and moaning, but he couldn't broke the kiss. As if he could, he wasn't masochist to that extent. He was shuddering from pleasure under Chris' touch, his cheeks flushed, feeling the desire oozing from the other.

After what it had seemed like the kiss version of seven minutes in heaven, Chris broke the kiss, enjoying the effect it did on Kazuya.

"Wh-what was that for, sen-pai~" he asked, playfully but still out of breath.

"One of your two birthday gifts. Happy 17th birthday, Miyuki Kazuya."

And he added in a more lower voice:

"I will give you the other one tonight..."


End file.
